I’m re-reading Arthur Brooks’ book called From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. I’ve been in an uncomfortable place lately. I left my main scuba gig in July and planned a month long bike packing trip in Chile this November. So, what to do with myself in this bardo? Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic – but I am still going through a very significant transition from striver lawyer to something else – what exactly I don’t know yet. I’ve been beating myself up lately about whether I left my legal career too early. I don’t feel completely in control of myself to be honest. It’s like some else is making the right decisions but there is a voice inside wanting to run back to the money, the prestige and the endless stream of paper – rejoin my colleagues on the hamster wheel of modern strivers. I’m lacking something to push against. At least Sisyphus had something to do all day (and he was in killer shape).
So, I’m turning to Brooks again to help me process this middle-aged angst. He dedicated nine years of his life to helping others process this and his analytical approach makes sense to me. The first part of the book is hard to stomach – it is a very detailed analysis of intellectual and physical decline and how early it comes. Scary early. I have to read those sections with one eye closed. I don’t want to believe that you can’t just push through, work harder and continue that relentless upward chart of success. The rest of the book gets much better as he teaches you about how to cope with this new reality. One of his most helpful pieces of advice for me is about the power of friendships. When I left my legal career, I also lost a lot of deep connections with people I respect – then again when I left my last scuba job. Brooks says, “you need strong human connections to help you get on the second curve and flourish.” This reminds me of one of my favorite songs from 2008 by Passion Pit called “Smile Upon Me” and their clever lyrics about finding your people really resonate with me:
“Everything’s always better whenever I’m at rest. I’m wound up tighter than a dried-up bird’s nest. And it’s the truth, you know, that’s always the issue. But when it starts gettin’ blurry, one’s never better than two.
There’s a place in this world. Where people like me are found by people like you. So find a place as this, forever divine.
Oh, yeah, you’re the best damn friend that I’ll ever have. You’ll always smile upon me when the season’s bad. You’ll always make me feel best even when I’m blue. You’ll always smile upon me, and I’ll smile upon you too.”
One of the best things about scuba is that you meet amazing people. People that thrive in crazy environments – extreme cold, strong currents, complicated gear and an intense focus on careful planning and execution. One of the best places to put all of this together is my favorite dive site called Salt Creek along the shore of the Straight of Juan de Fuca. The Straight serves as the inlet for the Pacific as it floods the Salish Sea. Salt Creek State Park sits perched on steep rocky cliffs that overlooks the crashing waves across to Vancouver Island. The daily inflow and outflow of massive amounts of water brings rich nutrients to the animals along the shore and it fosters a thick and healthy bull kelp bed. I study the tide charts every year looking for the handful of days where Salt Creek won’t kill us with strong currents. Monday was one of those sweet spots and my dive buddies Xuanni, Pri and Henry agreed to meet me up there at mid-day. I met these three awesome humans teaching diving. Xuanni and Henry worked with me and are incredible divers and photographers. Pri was a client but the type of client that I learned way more from than I taught. She is a volunteer for Reef Check and an expert on all of amazing sea critters we love so much.
I drove up first thing and got to the dive site by 7:30 AM to check conditions. This place is notoriously finicky and the wind can make the entry impossible. It’s also a long drive from Seattle so I didn’t want them to make the schlep for nothing. When I arrived, the waves were crashing perfectly and the tide would be high for our entire dive window so I sent my buddies the “all clear” message. I killed a few hours with a hike up to the top of Striped Peak to catch the last bit of the sunrise and take in the beautiful views of Crescent Bay. The views were amazing and it helped calm my nerves a bit. I’m always a little nervous before jumping into the water at Salt Creek but the truth is that the really tricky part is just getting to water.
After we assembled our dive gear and photo equipment, we double checked everything, assigned buddy teams and talked about emergency plans. We walked down the steep stairs together and gingerly made our way across the sharp, slippery rocks to the entry point. If someone were to write down the instructions for the entry you wouldn’t believe them. I was incredulous the first time my Marker Buoy dive club buddies showed me the way. Yes, just step over all of that slippery bull kelp and onto the rocky narrow section between those boulders. Yup – that small sliver where all of that water is violently crashing between a canyon of sharp oyster beds. Then, once you get waist deep, get your fins on quick because you have about thirty seconds until the tide pulls you farther into the narrow inlet. The dive starts whether you are ready or not so masks on, regulator in, fins secured and get down fast to avoid being drug backwards over the boulders.
As soon as you get underwater it all feels worth it. We were surrounded by hundreds of bright purple sea urchins and I could see the thick bull kelp bed ahead. This is my favorite part of the dive. The kelp beds are just magical. The light streams through and sun beams shine through like a soft a forest trail. The strong bull kelp stalks sway with the surging currents. It’s surprisingly easy to dive through as long as you go slow and methodically part the kelp so you and your buddies can make it through. It’s about twenty five yards through the kelp to the other side and I looked back and everyone was staying together. As soon as we got out of the kelp bed, we turned east into the current and things changed pretty quickly. The current really picked up and we were kicking as hard as we could to keep up some forward momentum. This current was at my absolute maximum – any stronger and I’d be blowing through my gas too quickly and risking getting swept away and having to surface too far out. I was nervous for everyone but every time looked back to see how they were they gave me the ok signal and were positioning themselves for photos as best they could in the strong current.
We found amazing creatures! Huge cotton candy colored striped sea stars, a giant clown nudibranch, a sweet little gunnel getting tossed around in the waves and so many beautiful open anemones. The fish were even struggling as they went zooming past and giving us that look – what are you guys doing out here? I was wondering the same thing when I signaled for us to turn the dive at around 30 minutes. We all had plenty of gas left but I always dive this site conservatively and wanted to make sure we got back with a healthy reserve. As we turned around, the current sent us sailing west way too fast and we had to stay really focused and kick hard to the south to get back towards shore. I kept my compass out and stubbornly pointed towards as we entered back into the kelp bed and into calmer water.
The really tricky part about Salt Creek is making sure that you come back the same way you went out. We did not do this! We got to a depth of about ten feet and I popped my head up and saw some stairs and led everyone close to shore as I hoped for a graceful exit. We were losing control as we got pushed up and between huge oyster beds and boulders. I made it to a spot where I could stand and Xuanni was close to me. I looked back and Henry and Pri were making their way across some huge rocks. We all got pushed around in the strong waves that bullied us around. We all got drug across huge sharp boulders covered with oysters and clams as we tried to position ourselves for a safe exit.
We finally got everyone to shore and started the tricky hike across the boulder field to the stairs. As I got closer, I realized that these were the wrong stairs. These were the ones on the east side of the campground – not the ones on the west side that we came down. Our exit now required full on rock climbing in full scuba gear to get up there. This is when I really started to feel like I let my buddies down. I thought, “man, they are going to kill me.” We helped each other get to the stairs and set our gear down on the bench. I was about to open my mouth with a stream of “I’m sorries” when Pri turned to me as said “Wow! That was awesome. You are such a great guide and I loved that site.” I was stunned – everyone was smiling and pumped about the crazy adventure we just had. I was too but had started down that dark route of self blame. That’s when it hit me – damn, these are my people. They don’t mind being violently drug across boulders in scuba gear for the chance to see amazing things with great friends. This is that place – that forever divine. Where people like me are found by people like you.
I was genuinely impressed with how strong they all were. Positive people with great attitudes. Expert and skilled divers that are comfortable managing risk for reward. They’ve put in the hard work to get here and I felt honored to count them as friends and dive buddies. I shared that with them as I packed up for the day and they headed out for a second dive. That’s why made me the happiest. That I was able to show them such a place that they would head out for more in such extreme conditions. It was a classic Brooks “strong human connection” and I clung to that warm feeling for the rest of the day.
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